#when are we going to stop treating poc women like this

[azgfggf]

For a while I’ve been trying to articulate why XWP means so much to me, and I think I’ve figured it out. It seems to come from a bizzaro world where everything is just. Equal. It feels like a real feminist show because the women are so respected.

I realized this when watching episode 6 (or seven maybe?) there was a scene where Xena was imprisoned, feet chained to the floor and hands to the ceiling. A group of men came in with the express purpose to harm, and in a moment of clarity I realized that I didn’t fear for Xena in the way I did for every other female in fantasy. Fantasy (as a male dominated genre) is full of sexual violence towards women, often used as story beats or just shock. It permeates women’s real lives and bleeds into what they read for escapist fantasy. For a long time I’ve felt as if nowhere is truly safe, because most fantasy media eventually has a scene or two where a woman is violated, or a costume that’s glorified lingerie, and I have to remind myself that this genre was never made with women in mind. But that scene ended with Xena beating the shit out of them, because they tried to beat her. Not assault or grab, just punches and kicks, like men would fight in fantasy. And she fucking won because she’s Xena and she’s awesome.

Again, in many episodes men want her. But they’re never violent towards her. In the show she is treated like a man would be treated in any fantasy setting. With respect. That’s true escapism for me, some world where that kind of violence either doesn’t exist or isnt prevalent. A world so easy to make, and yet so often thrown aside because of “historical accuracy”. In fiction. The specifically not historically accurate genre where you can pull anything out of your ass and people just kinda have to vibe with that.

I’ve also mentioned this before, but it’s so rare in fantasy for women to be…carefree I guess? Most of them are jaded from past violence, or future survivors, or meek healers, or old wise women. None of which are very allowed to be silly like their male counterparts. They’re always serious, always the voice of reason. Always so reigned in from what male characters are allowed to be. Xena has a dark past, but she’s still kind. The story is still light. Women are allowed to be happy without being victimized.

XWP is fantasy first and foremost, and it works wonders. There are POC everywhere, and nobody calls attention to it because, well, that’s just how it is in Xena-land. There’s no sexual violence toward any strong women, because, well, that’s just how it is in Xena-land. People fight on bamboo poles and race chariots in rivers and the steaks only go up to “Ooooo she has to marry the big bad” which never goes anywhere because we all know Xena is gonna stop them.

Xena Warrior Princess is always gonna be my favorite fantasy show, because it’s fantasy that’s finally geared towards women. A fantasy where women are safe, are capable, are treated in the same regard as men with no quippy girl-power one-liners because nobody needs to quip about the status quo. In a genre where women are so often demeaned and violated for minor story beats or shock value, seeing a work that actually feeds into a more female fantasy is what I’m obsessed with. It’s wonderful to see a magical world where women don’t have to live in fear. Or they do, like because cyclops’s n shit but everybody else does that too.

PS: this mostly applies to modern fantasy. Tolkien and Lewis were two authors I grew up on who I largely blame for my fantasy obsession today.

[wowbright]

It's wild looking at my life trajectory of being a young journalist who would have loved to work at The New York Times or Slate or NPR to someone telling spouse over breakfast, after said spouse said they heard/read on these three sources that "the Black and Latino vote gave the election to Trump":

"You really need to stop turning to these sources for analysis. They are fine with straight news. But when they want to do commentary or analysis, they focus on the thing that they find most interesting and surprising and likely to grab your attention, not the thing that is most significant for the outcome"

and then i whipped out the numbers from the NBC exit poll showing that black voter support for Trump had a 0% change since 2020, with black men's support for Trump going up by a single percentage point and black women's support for Trump dropping by 2%.

Commentators are making a big fucking deal about a 1 percentage point change among black men without pointing out that black men make up only 5% of the electorate so that change had zero effect on the election outcome and likely would have continued to have absolutely zero effect even in a much closer race.

I think it's curious that commentators in "liberal" media have decided that this is somehow comparable to the much larger shifts toward Trump in other demographic groups, including Latinx and young people, especially young men. Or, more significantly, the fact that the majority of white people voted for Trump.

Even with the shift among Latinx voters, the percentage voting for Harris (53%) was far higher than among non-Hispanic whites (43%).

I also think it's curious that their commentary talks about members of minority groups "deciding" elections when more than 70% of the electorate are white.

"Oh," spouse said. "They didn't point any of that out."

Of course they didn't. Because that would mean they would have to focus on white people. (I acknowledge here that white men voted for Trump and larger numbers than white women. But also, it appears that the majority of white women voted for Trump, and certainly in larger percentages and raw numbers than Latinas or black women or "other"s.)

If white people who had voted for Trump had voted instead for Harris, that would have affected the election outcome, too, wouldn't it?

But somehow, that is not interesting to the media, because 'white people' is just some abstract immutable force and the individuals who make up that population actually have no agency in the choices they make. /s

Commentators need to stop acting like white people are just going to keep white peopling no matter what, so it's the responsibility of POC to save us from ourselves.

Fuck that bullshit. I don't care if you grew up in the whitest white white town in the whitest county in the whitest state in the Union. White people are just as responsible for our choices as anyone else. It is absolutely bullshit to talk about POC "deciding" the election while ignoring the white elephant in the room.

This is what people mean when we talk about white supremacy. It doesn't mean that every white person thinks that they are better than everybody else. White supremacy means treating white beliefs and choices so much as the default that we forget that they are *beliefs* and *choices* anymore.

White people make up the majority of the electorate. The majority of white people voted for Trump. That is not true of any of any other racialized voter group for which I was able to find statistics.

If we are going to say that any one demographic group "decided" the election, then we are going to have to say that it was white people.

Editorial comment: I feel like this should be obvious from everything I've said above, but to be clear, I think it's bullshit to say that any one demographic group decided the election. Each one of us is responsible for our choices. It's not useless to look at demographic trends, but it is useless to blame entire demographic groups for how the election turned out--unless that demographic group is a self-selected one like "people who had the opportunity to vote and voted for Trump and/or did not vote for the only viable alternative, Kamala Harris."

[picnokinesis]

if you would be interested in sharing your thoughts about the star beast, i would love to hear them!!

Ooh okay, so - well, first, just to start off: I think The Star Beast is a really important episode, and was very much a needed episode. The current climate in the UK regarding the trans community and their rights is getting extremely rancid, to put it lightly. Having an episode of Doctor Who with an explicitly trans character, having the other characters around her be affirming and supportive - that was awesome. Extremely awesome. And I'm really glad that RTD is loudly putting himself on this side of the whole 'debate' (which isn't really a debate, because it's just straight up bigotry from the anti-trans side, and we need people like RTD outwardly speaking out against that bigotry).

When I talk to cis people offline about this episode, that is pretty much what I say and also where I stop.

I'll put the rest under the cut hahah - there's a bit of negativity here, just as a warning for all the hardcore RTD stans, but I think it's well-founded and not vitriolic at all, just like, miffed hahaha. Also, I know there were a few trans folks who found this episode really affirming, so just to be clear: this is just my opinion, personal thoughts, and also influenced by the conversations I had with other trans people that I know and care about about the episode.

When I talk to trans people - offline or online - about this episode, I go in a lot deeper, because whilst it was a very important episode, it was somewhat flawed. It also came off the back of several things RTD had said and done that really ticked me off, and so I wasn't really in the interest of being entirely uncritical about what, to me and a lot of trans dw fans that I spoke to, thought was a very "cis" trans story. And when I watched it, I thought 'oh geez, is this how poc feel when white people try and write poc stories with good intentions but don't really get it right??" because like. Ho boy.

The thing about this episode was that RTD wanted to write an affirming trans story, and mostly did that, but also, imo...doesn't actually understand what gender and transness actually is. I think my main gripes were definitely with the climax scene - the whole 'we can let go bc we're women' thing literally made me go 'what' out loud at the screen because...well, it's just gender essentialism. Trans inclusive, sure! But trans inclusive gender essentialism is still gender essentialism. Women aren't better than men. There's actually an exceptionally good essay written by a trans woman who was still in the closet about her experiences in queer spaces that had a very prevalent anti-men attitude, and I've seen it myself irl too. It's not helpful - it's harmful, in fact - and it leans on this strange mysticism about women that is fundamentally anti-feminist, in my opinion. Women aren't "innately better at emotional and intangible, instinctive things" (and it's unspoken counterpart - "thus men are better at logical, rational things" - is also untrue). Women aren't magically better at 'letting things go' than men are - I reckon you could make an argument about men being socialised to not be emotional, and that would be an interesting conversation to have, but that was not what was being said - especially with the Doctor being raised in a society that didn't even perceive gender in the same was as humanity.

Also, the thing that REALLY got me was 'if you were a woman, you'd get it' - first of all, no. Thirteen never let anything go in her life and repressed to the max, if anything she was WORSE than tenteen at that lmao. Second - and this is the more salient point - I think it's a strange thing to suggest that tenteen is fully a man, at this point? Like, regardless of what he looks like, regardless of how he identifies or how thirteen identified, he just lived a lifetime in a body that looked like a woman, and thus was treated as such by the rest of the universe. He wasn't going to forget all of that. I actually really liked how the Chibnall era approached thirteen's gender - or, rather, her complete ambivalence to it, where it seemed like gender was more of an annoying thing that kept happening to the doctor that she kept having to remember, rather than something she felt - however I really REALLY wish they'd actually dug explicitly into the transness of it all, and so when they didn't, I'd hoped that RTD would do that instead. Especially since we KNEW Yasmin Finney was in it and we knew we were going to get a trans character!! I was like, this is the PERFECT opportunity to get the Doctor to actually talk about their gender and how it, fundamentally, doesn't really change between bodies, just how people REACT to it changes. But instead, the episode seems to present the doctor as having flicked a binary switch - once woman, now man - and thus made sure to remind us that every time thirteen was mentioned, it was framed around the fact that she was The Woman Regeneration, but also that tenteen was Now a Man Again. And even if that WAS THE CASE, it still wouldn't mean that tenteen came out of that experience completely mindwiped of everything about 'womanhood', right?? Like he lived as a woman! He was a woman 45 minutes ago, but now you're telling him that he couldn't possibly understand anything about this because he's a man now? Like first of all, his physical body's characteristics have nowt to do with his ability to let things go, second, it's just....okay, it reminds me of the dichotomy between all these detransition horror stories the anti-trans folks like to spew out, versus when you talk to actual detransitioners, who are quite often gnc and extremely positive about the trans community, and whose experience within that community and transitioning impacted how they view the world.

And I think it fundamentally comes down to RTD not really understanding either womanhood or transness. He actively speaks out on both of these things, which is great, but I don't think he understands them fully. I think the fact that he didn't think that David Tennant could wear a t-shirt, braces, trousers and coat because they were "women's clothes", and that when he cast David Tennant that was one of the first things he immediately decided is kind of telling.

There's also the whole 'male-presenting timelord' thing, which, again, I just don't think RTD really understood what that meant, like I'm not sure what his point was there, genuinely. Like, on a technical level it's acknowledging that the Doctor isn't necessarily male, just looks like a man (correct) buuuuuuuuuut the full line was saying 'you'd never understand this because you're a man' SO LIKE...okay? So he's not actually a man, but actually because of his male-adjacency, he's incapable of coming to the same conclusion that a woman did? So he's still...defined by his maleness? Hm. Strange sentence to write coming out of a trans woman's mouth.

What would have been better? I wish they'd just had Donna and Rose say 'because we're human', or maybe 'because we're the Nobles'. I also know a lot of people really didn't like the misgendering scene with the kids on the bikes - I think my personal feelings on that are a little more complicated, as a trans person who is not out irl and functionally uses my birthname almost everywhere, but also isn't triggered by it. It's not a deadname, more like a paperwork name rather than my preferred name, right? But I know for a lot of trans people, deadnaming is like psychological warfare and it's really awful, especially when done with malicious intent (like shown in the scene with the boys on the bikes). However...I do understand why RTD included this scene, and actually kind of agree with him. Because the boys on the bikes are the sort of people who are also watching the show. And so then seeing that kind of thing being condemned by the narrative by a key, beloved character, is probably something that's actually helpful. On the other hand though...in the Doctor Who Unleashed (or whatever the behind the scenes thing is called now), you've got this interview with Yasmin Finney saying that it was actually a pretty triggering scene to film for her and genuinely affected her, and I'm like....okaaaaaay then I REALLY hope they had someone she could talk to on set. Like, fundamentally, I think telling these stories are important, but, yknow, not at the expense of the actual actress' mental wellbeing, right? So that concerned me a bit.

I also think that the scene between Sylvia and Donna in the kitchen talking about Rose was brilliant. And this is because it was about cis people trying to understand and support trans people whilst not completely getting it and making mistakes, but also trying their best!! Which RTD does understand, very well!! And it felt so real. It was fantastic. There's also the part with the whole 'did you assume the meep's pronouns' whiiiiiiiich I have mixed feelings about? I think here, RTD was trying to poke fun at the people who do say that sort of thing to make fun of trans people, and having the Doctor be like 'actually this is a good point we should be checking this sort of thing'......however. I don't think I've ever heard 'did you assume my pronouns' come out of a trans person's mouth. It's always been a cis person mocking our community. So it felt a bit...incongruent. And all that needed to be changed was having Rose say 'how do you know the meep is a he?' - like that was all it needed!!! Also, it was a shame that after the delightful moment of the doctor being like 'SAME HAT' regarding the meep's pronouns, that.....we then had NO OTHER DISCUSSION about the doctor's gender!! Like, Russel, dude, you're really gonna have Rose hear the 'male-presenting' guy say 'oh yeah I do that with pronouns too!! :D' - have her NOT REACT TO THAT AT ALL - and then you're gonna have her say by the end 'oh you don't understand bc you're a man :)' after her non-binary power move moment? Sighs. Yeah.

I think another important thing to remember here is that there were no trans folks in the writer's room on this. Now, this is a tricky one because I think people who aren't part of a certain community should be writing stories outside their own knowledge and experience, and should be encouraged to do so!! I don't think that you need to have everything rubberstamped, and even something written by someone in a certain community isn't going to resonate with everyone in that community. Actually, I think it's unhelpful to start getting into the politics of 'who is allowed to write what' - I think anything written with care and good intention is valuable, especially if the writer is willing to listen to constructive criticism and learn from any mistakes that are made. But I think, as a writer myself, if you are going to write a story about that community, it might be worth 1) talking to them a bit more than I think RTD did - but, to be fair, I don't actually know how much research he did, but, well, see above on the fact I don't think he really got what he was writing about - but also 2) not dismissing writers from that community (and others!), which RTD did in an interview not thaaaaaaat long before the episode aired. Again, to be fair to him, he has since then been like 'oh, we need to mentor and encourage the new generation of trans writers and writers of colour', which, great! But also, sir, then why were you saying that all the scripts you got from minority writers were all awful, angry, and lacked any love for tv like skksks SIR. SIR. The thing that gets me about that comment in particular is that, as someone currently starting out in script writing, I know exactly how hard it is to get at all noticed. It takes a lot of effort, a lot of passion, a lot of hard work and a lot of skill - and a lot of luck too, granted, but not luck along. So, RTD, if these writers got their scripts to your literal desk, as showrunner of Doctor Who...I think they have some love and passion. They HAVE to, to get to the point where he is reading those scripts. Also maybe RTD should unpack the fact that he thought the scripts were bad because they were too angry - I mean, I haven't read them, so I don't know, but maybe, sir, feeling uncomfortable about the anger in a script isn't a bad thing. Not every story is meant to be an easy pill to swallow. There are aromantic stories I want to write about romance as horror, romance as a virus, romance as a destructive force, that I think a lot of alloromantic people will find uncomfortable. Does that mean they're bad? Maybe, lol. Mostly they're bad because they're not written yet lmao, but I don't think the anger and discomfort in them makes them inherently weak. In fact, I think often anger can make a story stronger.

So then, I think The Star Beast left a sour taste in the back of my mouth, despite all the positive aspects of it, because of that. I think that comment also kinda left me frustrated about Dot and Bubble, even though I think that was a fantastic episode and genuinely really well done, and very effective - and I'm genuinely loathe to criticise it at all because I think it was so important - but. Having RTD talking in an interview about wondering how long the audience will take to notice that the cast is all white (and, thus, the depicted society is racist) whilst sitting in a writers room that's all white iiiiiiiiiiis uh. I don't think he thought about that SKKS. I think a lot about Sacha Dhawan talking about how you can be as inclusive on screen as you like, but if it's all 'white behind the lights' then how much does that inclusivity actually mean?

RTD definitely had good intentions and wrote a mostly good story. But he definitely fell down in some regards, aaaaaand well. I don't know. My personal opinion is that he's kind of arrogant and thinks he's infallible as a writer (and I may feel this way bc of the way parts of the fandom seem to put him on a pedestal, if I'm honest) - but I think that he's just human. He doesn't get things perfectly right all the time, and that's absolutely fine, but I think it's interesting and important to discuss those pitfalls, and I just wish he'd stop making it feel like he thinks he can write trans stories better than, yknow, actual trans people, and then write the most cis trans story I've ever seen SKSKSKSK

(AND ACTUALLY - sorry, this is getting long, but it's kind of indicative of the whole industry at the moment? The industry is calling for more diverse voices, more diverse stories - but they also want stories that can appeal to the widest possible audience, the common denominator, and thus "trans stories by trans people for trans people" doesn't actually tick that box. This didn't hit me until I wrote a trans horror script that got shortlisted for a script call, but when I spoke to the (cis) producer and director (who were LOVELY, the producer had a gorgeous dog called Biscuit HAHA) I very quickly realised that they did not get it. They didn't understand. "Why do we have to kill the mirror demon that's the girl part of this trans man?" they asked. "She should get to live too!" But: "She was never a part of him," I had to say. "She was the idea of him that everyone around him thought he was, and thought it so strongly that she became real. It was her or him." They didn't really understand, but on the plus side it did highlight to me what was unclear in my script that none of my (trans) proof readers had picked up on (although my transfemme friend made the HILARIOUS comment that maybe the mirror demon could go and find a nice trans girl to possess? WHICH SKSKSKSKKSKSK I MEAN -))

Anyway. -gestures nebulously- I feel like my thoughts were a lot more concise and well constructed in the week after this episode actually aired hahaha, but I didn't want to throw my hat into the ring back then. I did find it amused how the majority of my cis trans-affirming friends were like 'GREAT EPISODE, RIGHT?!!' and the majority of my trans friends were sending me the grimace emoji in the week after the episode aired LMAO

[allamericansbitch]

Genuine question. What do you think about all of the political pundits and news anchors and other celebrities praising Taylor for the endorsement? They’re all saying she made such an eloquent statement but it wasn’t that good…?

I feel like both 'sides' of this are missing the point because it's the internet and all nuance is lost. Taylor finally endorsed Kamala and took an actual political stance for the first time in 4 years, and that's great. That act is gonna do wonders for the election and really helped move eyes and ears toward Kamala, Tim, and their campaign. There's no doubt it'll make a huge impact. So the reporters who are saying she made an 'eloquent statement' are correct, she did. So people who are looking to hate on that have no reason to hate on that aspect. She did a good thing by endorsing Kamala.

However, that's not what the issue was that people were talking about for years prior that hit a peak a few days ago- it's a part but not the whole picture. Her statement about the election missed the big picture, it never once condemned what people have seen her tolerate personally. Taylor, for the past 3-4 years has repeatedly surrounded herself with close-minded, ignorant, and actively bigoted people. From the people she's voluntarily chosen to work with (i.e David O Russell; a known abuser) to people she chooses to publicly be friends with (Brittany Mahomes, Lena Dunham, Zoe Kravitz, etc) and even repeatedly defended dating vocal bigot Matty Healy. She has repeatedly surrounded herself with people who actively go against everything she says she believes, and actions speak louder than words. How can you say you're an ally to the LGBTQ+ community and publicly be besties and lend your spotlight to someone who doesn't believe trans women are women and shouldn't be in women's sports (Brittany Mahomes). How can you support victims of SA/DV when you're friends/work with abuse apologists and actual abusers? How can you be an ally towards POC when you defended dating a man who publicly said he gets off to porn of black women getting beaten, or while you wear jerseys and support your current partner's team- a team that has made a mockery of Indigenous people who have repeatedly begged for them to stop? How can you be an ally for women when you haven't spoken up for Palestine, where women are being treated in unimaginable ways due to the ongoing genocide. That's the issue, her actions vs. her words.

She can say she believes in these subjects, and that's good it's better than nothing, but we all know the words are pretty empty and for show. A show is good but it always ends and you're left with nothing afterwards. She probably won't say much else about the election because in her mind she did her duty, and that to her is the bare minimum. Half-baked activism is applauded because we are so used to getting nothing. Endorse a candidate and go back to being friends with people who don't see certain groups as human beings. Tell people to vote but don't condemn their hatred, because then you'd also be condemning some of your friends. Enable that behavior and live in that privilege, it'll work out for her and that's what matters the most.

[zombyjuice]

SHY GIRL GONE ROUGE! shotaro,wonbin ( ｀o´)_θ☆( >_<)🦷🎀🐰🍎🐼🐆❄️

I’m thinking shotaro/wonbin would def fall for a very sweet maybe even shy yet in a way very outspoken and feisty I’m thinking poc!reader half black half Korean??

You loved commentary videos very engaged in the problems of today you were very self-aware and understanding of the world around you and liked educating yourself about it.

This became a big interest and you started a blog/Insta acc/ Tumblr acc and would write.

They’d spread around the school like wildfire and ended up having mixed reactions from the public even making news headlines once with your popular writing ‘What are you, gay?’ going into depth about the way boys treated the women around them “You know… I blame the world for all the homophobia if it weren't for that maybe you boys would be more open about your sexuality! wouldn’t have to spread all that bottle-up hatred for women :< it's sad. lol!” other popular writing being ‘You are not a mama's boy, you're a bitch boy… yikes!’ and ‘Stop the stupidness we know you want your best buddies boyfriend( •́દ•̩̥̀ )’

You went into it anonymously and very very young. it's not your fault! Yu didn't think you'd get attention!

So all the hate and people in school finding out who you were, was not good for your mental health, especially being the type to give all the fucks about people's opinions. Over time you became used to it but grew out of your writings and when you were 16 your interest in K-pop peaked and surely grew.

Being SM's first black girl (in a v popular group may I add) was one thing but being in a risky ass scandal is another we ALL know SM doesn't play. And these dumbass haters?? don’t even get me started But surprisingly to SM, it wasn't all that bad I mean “A couple of unoriginal opinions from a 14-year-old is just silly! Nothing that hasn't been thought of already! Nothing to hate lol T-T” Read the apology.

Wow, you could already see the admiration on his face. Bro is so intrigued. (*´∀`*)

You ended up seeing him everywhere you'd be hanging out in the dining area listening to music and suddenly plop an awkward taro/bin ordering your favorite drink a couple of feet in front of you… and of course, taking notice of this.

MAYBEEE this could be like a series?? Pt2?? IDKK you guys would have to lmk lol i hope you enjoyed and not all my stuff is going to be like this, just something i really enjoy!! ☺️☺️🤗

[utilitycaster]

I agree what the cast says does not hold as much weight as what happens on stream. I think this is why I get frustrated by the 'Orym is to blame for Laudna killing Bor'dor' debates, using things Liam and/or Marisha have said on 4-sided dive that contradict the actual scene, where Marisha states Laudna barely notices Orym and Ashton, and *nothing* will stop her from doing what she wants to do. At worst, it's inaction. Have interviews and things like that always held so much weight in fandom?

I am absolutely the wrong person to ask here; I was not super in fandom when I was younger. I am going to, as I am wont to do, make some educated guesses but please take with a grain of salt.

I think there's a few things going on. A lot of people have told me that Glee was the first fandom they personally recall where it became about winning more than like, having fun and sharing ideas, and I wouldn't be surprised if that is at least an influence. (The idea that two ships that do not conflict and indeed have incompatible sexualities are in some kind of deathly serious competition is truly so baffling to me that I have to chalk up that particular bit of, if I may use a yiddishism here, mishegos, to Glee for sure.)

I also think that there was a time and there are shows where interviews did (or do) carry more weight, namely, those with executive meddling, or loss of creative control, or, notably, queer ships until quite recently. I have a lot of friends in the Star Trek fandom even though I'm not knowledgeable at all and from what I am given to understand, there's been a few ships squashed or delayed by executive whim or homophobia that the actors would pretty openly and consistently confirm at conventions. (The ones I know are Riker and Troi; and Garak and Bashir; but I have only hazy recollections of TNG and know NOTHING of DS9 so this is second-hand). I've talked about this before, but Word of God used to carry more weight for me when you simply couldn't have same gender romances on network TV or most mainstream film without risking your career. Now? You're a coward and a panderer.

Anyway I think with actual play specifically, which is improvised (ie, intent can shift dramatically and unexpectedly) and which has a lot of talkback shows and also a disproportionately huge amount of content people get in the habit of cherrypicking, and in extreme cases this turns into cherrypicking themselves straight out of the actual narrative and into microexpressions and OOC interviews and side conversations from three years ago.

I also, and I am too tired and too many drinks in (two drinks in, to be clear) to articulate this tonight, find that actual play in particular has amassed a certain fandom that I think was attracted to things I like and support (queer characters, women/queer people/POC creating and driving their own characters, independent creator-owned productions, improvised and therefore at times really unique stories, not needing to have streaming services in some cases) but also doesn't actually like Actual Play as a medium (see: every single D20 fandom meltdown low-key boils down to "I have zero genre awareness of both whatever is going on narratively and also I high-key loathe D&D as a means of storytelling and particularly the existence of violence in narrative, yet I am watching the Violent Narrative D&D show, so dance or me, my puppets, wait why aren't you dancing.") So I think you get a lot of people who are just making dumb fucking arguments because they decide what they believe and then poorly reverse engineer the support instead of doing things in the proper order and I think the people claiming Orym is responsible for Bor'Dor's death are in that category and we should stop treating them as people who are adding anything of worth to the conversation.

[my-mt-heart]

NYCC 23 Thoughts

I know Caryl fans are more than ready to celebrate. I am too for what it's worth. Believe me, I'm so ready, but I also have concerns that some may not want or need to hear right now. And I get it. Fandom is supposed to provide a space for us to enjoy our favorite shows and characters without real life obstacles bleeding into it. My blog has really pushed those boundaries over the past year and half, so if that's not what you're looking for, feel free to scroll on by or block. If for some reason my rants are of any use to you, however, then here goes another one. Ahem.

Four middle-aged white men walk onto a stage...

…And proceed to make complete asses of themselves.

This is my biggest gripe with TWDU right now. It perpetuates the same tired, limited perspective of the upper class, middle-aged white man in not one, but all of the new spinoffs. TOWL is supposed to be about Rick and Michonne, but it's no secret Gimple favors Rick. Dead City is supposed to be about Negan and Maggie, but the showrunner only goes on and on and on about Negan/JDM in his interviews. S2 of le spinoff is supposed to be about Daryl and Carol, but...well, I'll get to that. My point is, representation offscreen matters because it affects what we see onscreen and which viewers will be drawn to watch. Personally, I didn’t feel drawn to anything during that panel, not because Melissa finally being announced isn’t exciting, but because the people speaking on her behalf always find ways to ruin the moment.

If Gimple wasn't going to talk about his show, I don't understand why he needed to be there. If it was a tradeoff, I would've rather seen Melissa up there and hear what she had to say about her own return and her own character in her own voice. If that still wasn't possible, I fully respect that, but there has to be some other way to deliver news besides constantly relying on male EPs who don't understand what her fans value about her. I worry this is how it's going to feel when I'm watching S2. I want Carol, but not a misrepresentation of her. Greg Nicotero is directing the premiere. Okay...and what about the other two blocks? Any women/POC directors? Anyone who's going to honor Carol the way she deserves instead of treating her like an extension of Daryl's story?

So, yeah. About that title. First of all, “The Book of Carol” is an odd choice in itself. The biblical allusions are annoying because they don't speak to who Carol is as a character. I’m not mad that it implies we’re getting Carol’s POV—quite the opposite—but I don’t like the confusion it’s causing either. Let’s be clear, Carol is not a short chapter in Daryl's story. She is Daryl’s story. Calling Melissa a "series regular" is extremely poor wording, and a sincere fuck you to whoever approved it for the announcement. She is a lead with EP credit and creative input. I am so sick of AMC leaving it up to the fans to debate her worth. Tell us she’s vital to the show, tell us it’s her show, and use clear language. Stop giving her haters more ammo they don't need and stop giving her fans more anxiety they really don't need.

Honestly, it would’ve been easier to accept if S2 was formally called TWD: Book of Carol. The problem is "The Book of Carol" is not the title. It's a subtitle of a (sub)title, and it's bullshit. It feels like a scam, another way to try to convince us we're getting what we want when we're not really getting much of anything. I don’t know if they're worried about false advertising since S2 won't be a Daryl and Carol story—more like a Carol story which, again, I’m not mad about as long as it leads to a reunion and canon by the end. Or maybe they’re stubbornly clinging to the belief that Daryl’s name is what sells despite the atrocious ratings suggesting otherwise. Daryl AND Carol do sell though, so why not lean all the way into it? Why risk turning the show into a laughing stock with obnoxious titles? These characters don’t deserve that.

Another thing that worries me is how it'll be promoted. As "The Book of Carol" or Daryl Dixon S2? Is it going to vary based on who AMC is trying to placate? Is "The Book of Carol" going to be smaller than Daryl Dixon on all the key art? Including Carol in the title was supposed to show that Daryl and Carol are equals. That way, Norman and Melissa would also be treated as equals by viewers and by co-workers. This doesn't look very equal to me...

Why —why 😩— do they need to keep rehashing the filming location's origin story, and by rehashing, I mean lying about it and dragging Melissa and her fans through the mud when all we want to do is move the fuck on? I don't like that Gimple (savagely) threw Norman under the bus, and I don't like that Norman, whatever his intentions were, threw Melissa under the bus. Again, this is why we need to hear Melissa's thoughts on the show, specifically what Carol's (and Caryl's) journey will entail not just plot-wise, but emotionally. It's not fair to put all that responsibility on her to make everybody else look good, and I hope it won't come to that, but the people on that panel yesterday really weren't doing themselves or the show any favors. I was pretty unsettled by the number of times I heard the phrases "I wanted this" or "we wanted that." Has anyone ever taken the time to understand what their audience wants? Or has the show really just been a vanity project all along?

I was wary about Zabel pretty much from the start, but finally getting to hear him talk about Daryl cemented how poorly he understands who he is and more importantly what he means to fans. A man being torn between his former way of life and his new one is nothing groundbreaking. It's actually a pretty standard formula that can fit a lot of conventional heroes, but it does not work for Daryl Dixon. Daryl Dixon is not a conventional hero. Daryl Dixon is the most loyal character in TWD history, and it's been well established his loyalty is to his found family of over a decade--Rick, Michonne, Maggie, and especially Carol. We will never buy that Daryl could be torn between them and people he's only known for weeks/months. Someone who tries to force that should not be showrunning. Period. I am terrified to learn more about how Zabel views Carol because so far, it sounds like he doesn't think much of her at all. If he did, maybe he would've written something more substantial for her in the finale.

We'll see what happens on Sunday. Hopefully they'll release the S2 teaser. Hopefully it’ll provide more reassurance. Hopefully something will. At the moment it just doesn't seem like AMC is capitalizing on Melissa's return as much as they could, and they're definitely not capitalizing on Caryl yet. That being said, and I can’t stress this enough, I do trust Melissa’s judgment. If she chose to come back—and she did—it’s for good reason. The wait is going to be difficult, but next year we’ll have six full episodes of Carol trying to find her soulmate. Nobody is taking that away from us no matter how many times the men put their foot in their mouths.

[ur-local-demon1]

Show Annabeth

Confiscating her from a certain side of the fandom until they learn to treat my girl with the respect she deserves. When I first read what people had to say about the first few episodes, I made a promise to myself to keep quiet because I didn't want to offend people, and none of the things that were said were in bad faith, just misunderstandings- Until it wasn't and I genuinely flew into a frenzy over the takes I read. Like Grover said, maybe things need to get a little upsetting before they move forward: The racism against Annabeth is still very much here and alive, but this time the things that are said come from the mouths of those who don't hear the vile things they're saying (disclaimer before I keep going, I will be calling out racist takes about Annabeth but this is only from the perspective of a non-black POC. I experience racism so I can sniff it out easily, but I do not experience it in the same way a black woman would)

I first noticed this change around episode 3. Like I said, I promised myself not to say anything about what people have been saying about Medusa but that's over. The roman version of Medusa's myth was, is and always will be a beautiful homage/symbol (whatever you want to call it) to other survivors out there and I cannot stress this enough in this post alone. Because Medusa means so much to the women watching the show, myself included, we tend to look past an important thing: Medusa was a victim, she is currently a monster. Her monstrous traits (physical and behavioural) do not erase what she went through or what she symbolises for us, but in Percy Jackson, Athena and Poseidon are not the only ones who made her a monster. She chooses to petrify most of the people she comes across, she manipulated a grieving and traumatised 12 year old boy, and showed no remorse taking the life of three children. She suffered but inflicted on others a pain similar to the one she felt, and for that, No, Annabeth doesn't owe her kindness, sympathy, or anything for that matter. She is not "aggressive" or "not a girl's girl" for not being kind to a monster that aimed to kill her, it is not wrong of her as a daughter to defend her mother, however unjust it may be.

What some are angry about is that Annabeth supposedly doesn't have good relationships with other women and I get where they're coming from but to be blunt, they're wrong. It's good that womanhood isn't portrayed as sunshine lollipops and rainbows, that Annabeth doesn't trust someone who is an actual threat to her life simply because she's a woman. Most ridiculous part of this is that Leah said she was looking forward to season 2 the most since she wants to act with other girls.

And then, beyond that, her behaviour as a whole starts to get nit-picked. Names will not be named, but isn't it very ironic that we get a moment in episode 4 where Annabeth is being racially profiled by a police officer who saw her as aggressive for simply asking if they were under arrest, only for that certain part of the fandom to treat her in the exact same way, referring to her as violent, mean, and aggressive? What makes this nasty behaviour from the fandom different from the openly racist "fans" who had no shame calling Leah names, harassing her and anyone who showed their support for her before even seeing her performance is that the people I'm talking about here aren't racist themselves, but their words are. While they may not have bad intentions, they do not hear how disgusting they sound, and when you force them to hear it, they don't like it and they double down until they become just as disgusting and repugnant as what is coming out of their mouths

Conclusion: You'll give yourself an ulcer or idk, pop a vein if you keep complaining about every minute detail in the show. Either sit back, relax and enjoy it like a normal person, or stop watching it altogether. Oh and, I can't believe people even need to be reminded of that, stop calling black girls/women aggressive/violent, especially if they are a 12 year old kid who just wants to avoid being a statue, and for her mom to love her

[jewishbarbies]

Regarding TS and an eating disorder. I’m not from the USA so it might be technically different there. But from my own person experience you have to be diagnosed with one.

People throw the term eating disorder around so casually. I have been to see professionals about my eating habits as recommended by my gp and no one’s diagnosed me with one but they have said that my disordered eating (literally just switched the two words around changes it’s meaning. I know it’s wild out here in medical terms haha) is a symptom of other issues I have. So Taylor might have discussed issues around food and body image in her documentary but people every day have these issues without having disorder eating or being diagnosed with an ED.

we all know she needs therapy but won’t go (or at least gives the impression she doesn’t) but if she did she might work through whatever issues caused her to gain potential disordered eating she’d be able to be a positive advocate for getting healthier but she’s (most likely) not and so it’s all speculation. Speculation that she doesn’t deny either. Just another way for her to pull a victim card when she’s being “targeted”.

it’s like what she does when she queerbaits. You can’t hate her for being homophobic and queerbaiting because what if she is gay herself… You can’t hate on her for writing bad songs about her exes cause she’s a woman and she stands up for women’s rights cause she’s been wronged and is a minority (major eye roll)… you can’t hate her for being racist (or dating one) cause she has POC friend, they ironically only show up to public events or if she’s getting bad press but they’re there and soooo noooot getting financial or professional gains for being around her… and back to the ed topic, you can’t hate her for being skinny or saying insensitive things about body image because that’s not body positivity and she has body issues too just like us all.

I swear it’s all just a publicity tactic to avoid getting berated and called out.

THIS

like this is why i just say "disordered eating" because as far as we know, she doesn't have any kind of diagnosis. we only know what taylor told us and that was just enough to understand she has body image issues and struggled with some disordered eating during a certain period of time. then all we know is she just magically got over it. she never talks about getting help or going to therapy, it just stopped one day. but swifties treat not diagnosing her as some kind of crime. like you're denying she had anything at all. we don't even know what she had! and it's none of our fucking business! calling it disordered eating is much more respectful than slapping a label on her out of ignorance, but i guess that's just me.

[burneraccbcyallpissedmeoff]

My opinion of: The race discourse

As most the votes were on yes on my last poll, here it is

1- introduction

i came from a black father and a ginger mother, who are the children of 2 white women, a black and ginger men

Which makes me, a dark skinned female, black/white/ginger, i feel fit to have words about this since i do have eyes on more then two races and see both sides to the story

I also have many characters/listeners as POC (angel, aaron, damien, honey.. Ect)

2-what's the discourse about

The with/against Alexis discourse led to a very heated race argument between the fandoms members, seeing as most of them see her as a POC, which led to other character like huxley and darlin to enter the argument and make it bigger

Now let's start from the beginning:

1.the media/america's effects on people's opinion of race

As of late, i noticed that many people being rude/bully to white people, like making slurs about them, hating on them, and many other ruthless actions against white people, I'm sure you saw it before, a black girl saying that dating a white boy would "dirty her bloodline" a dark skinned boy mad that a white man looked at his mother saying "he's not even our race wtf!"

Most see it normal, if not empowering, but in reality a very racist act against white people by POC

Which is not to say POC don't get discriminated against by white people, but in that case, everyone points it out and cancel the creator and hate them, unlike in the first two examples

So i like to remind

Racism can be against any and all race

2. Racism definition

(prejudice, discrimination, or antagonism by an individual, community, or institution against a person or people on the basis of their membership of a particular racial or ethnic group, typically one that is a minority or marginalized.)

See how this didn't say discrimination against only black people/POC? Keep that in mind

In my words I'd say that racism(skin tone wise) is caring for what someone's skin color is and letting it effect your view on them and actions towards them , in a good or a bad way

So to achieve the equality you are looking for you have to not care what someone's skin tone is, therefore treating them the exact same, looking right through it, to see the person, not stopping at the surface.

3.white cast vs black cast

I've seen many people on this fandom furious about the fans who imagine all their characters/listeners white, but prize other who do the same but with a darker skin tone

Which gets us back to my first and second point

Hating on white people, and loving black people (changing your views depending on that) attacking the former and clapping for the latter (changing actions)

You shouldn't hate/love something depending on what skin tone it has that's racism, if you do that, you are racist, just instead of against group1 you do it against group2, a "pick me" racist :^

If having a full white cast is racist against black people

Then having a full black cast is racist against white people

This is equality ^

I don't see having either as a crime, to each their own, but if we were to do so then to achieve quality each and every one of us must have a character/listener from every race

Or else you're racist against [insert the race(s) you didn't use]

because if we continue like this, everyone has the right to make a hissy fit about their own race

I can go and yell and cry and cuss on the lack mix-race characters and how many of us feel that when you only do [insert character/listener name here] you're Boxing us into a stereotype and being racist against us

4.not everyone experience the same things

Saw alot of you demanding justification for having this or that character a certain skin color

Per example, "if you want to see huxley as black you should consider how he feels when people around him label him as dangerous" and somethings along said lines

To which i answer simply, no!

First, i do not have to validate my character's design to anyone! I shouldn't cause harm to my character so you'll agree with my design, do that to yours, I'm sure erik didn't revoke your character design privileges, do whatever you want to your characters, no one's gonna stop you

Second, you are basically normalizing racism and making me make my whole characters existence around the fact that they are [insert race here]! Why?? They're way more then just some paint i decided i drew them with

If we're gonna be like this i could go anyone who isn't mix-race and Demand that their mix race character should have no stereotypes + make them cause the character harm and how they face racism so they seem valid and justify-able instead of doing it myself

In short: let people enjoy their own characters and you enjoy yours, Nobody owes you anything, and you owe nobody nothing, unless they are directly harming you, you ain't got no right throwing hissy fits over other people's imagination

[emmcfrxst]

ngl i kinda wanna hear your analysis on arthur whenever u have time bc as much as we love this man- i think we sometimes forget that this man is canonically racist and sexist even tho he is considered progressive and better than most men during that time (looking at u micah😒).

examples of this being like during his antagonizing lines for the women around the camp or him not rlly caring when other racist gang member make racist comments towards lenny, javier or charles.

idk if this wording made any sense but i’m too lazy to go over it too much😭 i love your works btw!! just wanted to see your own analysis on our man🫶🫶

(don’t know if u need age for anons but i’m 19!)

i quite honestly don’t really have an analysis on this because i hadn’t really thought about it like that before (which. you are SO right. my bad) and i honestly think that this part of his character is kind of held within the boundaries of the game itself because when it comes to the antagonizing comments it’s a personal choice of the player’s whether or not they wish for arthur to treat women with respect and i think that despite the boundary of the player’s choice, there’s still moments where you can see that arthur is definitely not like the others when it comes to feminism/the rise of suffrage because he does, whether in low medium or high honor, accept to drive the carriage for the women in Saint-Denis and keeps them relatively safe during their speeches— he also mentions not minding the idea of women voting in a conversation with the leader of the suffragettes (although his answer ends up being kind of cynical, he’s still open to the idea)— and even in low honor, arthur makes sure to protect tilly and sadie multiple times throughout the game. the racism part is kind of tricky because we firstly as players don’t have an option of stopping the others from making comments or defending the poc members’ honor (i think? i could be wrong) so that part of arthur’s mindset isn’t shown and isn’t malleable throughout the game, he does mention not caring about skin color multiple times and also threatens the eugenicist and the kkk members upon meeting them, but as for his true, genuine personal beliefs (since it’s still the 1800s) i don’t know and i’m not exactly comfortable theorizing and discussing it in detail because i am Very Much White and i feel like it’s not my place to tell people how to feel about the content presented in the game; that’s really up to personal interpretation i think

[heir-less]

I would like to understand why people are pretending that the live-action Little Mermaid is going to be good when it's another terrible remake that will misinterpret and butcher the story and moral of the original like the 900 other remakes. Like, I swear there are people on Twitter making this movie their whole personality when it doesn't even look good. After Avatar, you'd think Disney would really devote money to make the water effects look impressive, but nope.

I don't really care if Arial is black, either. Disney did fuck all to defend Halle Baily from the wave racism she experienced (I believe Freeform spoke out back in 2019 and some cast members defended her, but it wasn't enough). Also, reading the behind-the-scenes, it seems like Halle was exploited on set and forced to work beyond her limits. Putting an actor in water for 13 hours a day is dangerous and not something that should be framed as resilient. It would be nice if people stopped acting as if the live-action Little Mermaid is something groundbreaking for Black women and girls when it's clearly just Disney trying to cash on diversity at our expense. They don't actually care about supporting us, based on how they treated their leading lady.

We need to stop supporting these creatively bankrupt pieces of shit. Look at the Lilo & Sitch casting, they clearly don't care honouring POC stories or valuing actors of colour. The Mulan remake was literally filmed within view of Chinese concentration camps and stared an actress who supported Chinese police brutalizing Hong Kong protesters. A lot of people like to pretend that people only have issues with The Little Mermaid, but it's a problem with all of these movies in general. It seems to be more of an issue with Disney as a company, not the actual people working on these films.

Like, I saw the live-action Lion King in theaters and now my sister wants to see this, too. Like, I genuinely think these films are bad on principle.

[susansontag]

It's really not that hard to understand that their whole thing with hp and jk is the fact that the game is a turning point in letting jk get away with her views and funding of anti trans laws in the uk. She has her hands IN what gets passed there and the lgbt community sought to use her game as a lesson that you can't get away with being a racist antisemitic transphobe anymore. Unfortunately no one wants to listen to the community, because no one wants to stop and think "Hey how is this impacting my friends or youth today? What would it mean to them if we did this for them?"

And if you stopped to think you'd realize that if this had been a successful boycott, it would've been a very good opening for the lgbt community to direct our attention to important matters like the anti trans and anti abortion laws being passed in the u.s and the anti trans laws being passed in the uk.

People think they aren't fighting for other things or that they're hypocrites for only caring about hp when in reality you are treating the lgbt community like a hive mind. HP is big therefore people think it's the only thing the community cares about but it's not. You don't care about them from how dismissive you immediately are so you don't see that there are trans people fleeing states or countries because there has never been a safe place for them to exist.

All these laws have brought out the worst in people towards the lgbt community and boycotting a simple badly made video game is the easiest thing they could've asked us to do instead of telling us literally anything else that is a worry atm. It could've been a lesson to transphobes and antisemitic people that you can't be a visibly shit person anymore and get away with it but unfortunately no one cares enough to use some critical thinking skills and realize that one of the biggest ip's in the world being used as an example would've been the fastest but also the biggest way to push back on the sudden vocal hatred going on towards poc, jewish communities, and lgbt people.

I don't expect you to answer this in fact I'm sure you'll make fun of this ask but have a little empathy in your life instead of calling lgbt people (who again aren't the only ones condemning jk) hypocrites for not boycotting everything in their lives when you know it's not realistic and they know it's not realistic to ask you of this. It's why they chose hp. Because it was the easiest ask of the century and even that was too much to ask of everyone.

indeed, the lgbt community are not a hive mind (I have never claimed this), hence my disagreeing with you. boycotting the harry potter game would not get a message out about anything and isn't effective activism anyway. you just don't know what you're talking about so it is genuinely hard to get through to you and people who speak like you do... I know that's harsh, but you blatantly conflate uk debates about trans healthcare and women's spaces with us debates surrounding it, despite their being two different countries with different political balances of power having in some cases significantly different discussions. do you even know the details of these 'anti trans laws' you discuss? have you even skimmed any of the reports regarding trans healthcare, for example the cass review submitted to the nhs in the uk? do you even know the content of these debates?

trans people likely are fleeing certain countries, but they certainly have no reason to flee the united kingdom. this is an incredibly safe country for trans people; so safe, in fact, that any trans refugees should probably consider fleeing to here. there absolutely are safe places for trans people to exist and it's exceptionally irresponsible and alarmist to go around claiming otherwise

you seem very convinced that boycotting a video game will actually alter structural racism in some way, and well. I'm not even going to engage with that one, sorry. I do not need more empathy. people like you need to 'educate yourself' on issues you claim to be authorities on, because the careful consideration, the mindful debate, the baseline knowledge? it all seems incredibly lacking in people writing these strongly worded posts on social media websites

[redheadbigshoes]

Completely agree with what you said. Many of these shitty comments come from women too. The most frustrating part is that people refuse to stop whatsoever. Its another fuckin episode of what form of sexual harassment towards minorities is cool and trendy today. Many straight men also make these kinds of comments thinking its "progressive" since gnc women are treated as ugly so they think sexualizing them instead makes it okay and it infuriates me how many people dont see anything wrong with that

With queer men or POC men i've noticed that ppl will go up in arms holding pitchforks if their favorite cishet white boy is criticized in any way meanwhile when a trans guy brings up how disgusting the sexualization of trans boys (especially young ones) is in fandom spaces, or when a black guy talks about hypersexualization of black guys, suddenly people pull out the "men can't be sexualized".

Ngl I rarely see those type of comments coming from men, probably because a lot of them sound more submissive and it’s rare to see men talking about women in that way.

I think part of the reason people won’t stop is because they don’t see no harm in doing it, especially considering the comments sound more submissive like I said before. Not only that but also because they genuinely think women cannot sexualize and objectify other women.

People think they’re just complimenting someone when a lot of the time it’s just sexualization and objectification hidden as a compliment. They really cannot see not everyone feels comfortable receiving that kind of “compliment”, especially when we talk about real people.

[golbrocklovely]

Gotta be honest. Although seth comment was disgusting and as a women myself i would never want to hear such a thing being said about me… I don’t specifically like how in such Situations, people act as if they never said anything rude/mean/disgusting being around friends.

I’m not in any way defending seth, because although i like him in snc videos (cause he is one. Of those who take investigations rather more serious), i would have to be sick in the head to say that it’s nothing… But as you said … man joke about such things in their friend group ( cause well… those are man… simple people) and ngl women do that too. Maybe not as often as men do , but you really never heard from your friends how “she wish he could just f her” , how he “had a small d” how he “was so bad that i fall asleep” , “it lasted 2 minutes” , “with such a small equipment, he won’t do much anyway”??… i am a women and believe me that I heard those things and women just as men are capable of commenting disgusting things about men, just as men do about women .

So in my very personal opinion, although the comment was disgusting and so out of place , people should stop acting as if women do not do simmilar things … this comment should never be on camera, buT i just don’t like how people who ain’t exposed to the spotlight suddenly act as if they innocent, as if they are God creatures who are in charge of judging other people, when reality is that , if their conversations with their close friends would be recorded by someone , they would be under fire just As those famous people that they hate on daily basis and yell how they should be “canceled” for that.

I am just sick of hypocrisy as a women myself. Sorry not sorry.

i didn't want to say all of this, but… yeah. i agree with you.

i think my issue is - yes, seth's comment was gross. no one is saying otherwise or trying to argue against that whatsoever. but if we're all being honest, how often are you around other men, other ppl, that say mean shit about women? and when that happens, do you call it out? bc i know for a fact i don't always do that. bc sometimes it's easier to just… side eye the person and move on. sometimes it's not worth fighting or arguing bc it can become a back and forth of "oh it's just a joke" and "no it's not bc it's harmful" and it's not worth it.

bc here's how i see it and i totally get that some WILL NOT see it this way and that's totally fine: men, to me, appear on a spectrum of least dangerous to most dangerous. the least dangerous are the ones that genuinely love women, that care for us, that do their best to call out shit when they see it. all the good stuff. the dangerous ones are the incels, the andrew tates of the world, right?

but then collectively, most men, fall in the middle. and they can go either way sometimes. these are the men worth talking to, educating - but only if that's something you want to do. as a woman, i shouldn't have to argue with others as to why our existence is important or valid or worth respecting. it's exhausting and shouldn't have to be the case. but reality is, these same middle men also live in the same society we live in. it's a patriarchal one that ALLOWS and ACCEPTS hate towards women. but bc it's so embetted in our society, most don't realize how deep it runs. so they say things nonchalantly or in a joking manner, not realizing there is a history behind those statements that stems back far enough to our oppression.

(and of course this whole argument doesn't even get into poc women and how they are treated, in just america alone, but i think you all get my gist)

i say all of this bc… i don't see seth as being the next andrew tate or some shit. while what he said was harmful and gross, it's clear there wasn't true malice behind it, at least to me. he's just another man saying another dumb thing about women. it's sad, but it's reality. same with colby "agreeing" and sam saying nothing in return. men don't call out other men most times. and to put them on this pedastal when most women don't do that to other men is a bit hypocritical.

the best we can do in situations like this is tell seth "hey what you said wasn't nice" and i think collectively most of us have done that. he's also now apologized to both kristin publicly and privately and to us (which personally i don't think he had to do in the first place but it's fine that he did it regardless). and now, we see if he actually learned anything. give him the grace to grow and be better. bc again, i don't think he's an awful man. he's just… a man.

[cancerian]

The only “dense motherfucker” is one that believes it is women that must do so (make men feel comfortable) for men. You live in a society highly governed by your fellow males, if anyone is making you feel “bad” or “sad” it is because of the rules and laws created by your fellow males. Why should women who have been oppressed and subjugated for years, and are still subjugated by a different name care for your hurt that is caused by other men.

The biggest threat to women is men, the biggest threat to men is other men. At these your big ages, you would think that half a braincell would have formed by now. There is nothing that men will do now that they have not already done in the past. This is why women’s history and their experiences with the men they loved is very important for young girls to know. That way they don’t fall into the trap of “if you show them love, they will change and be kind.” Stop trying to put women in dangerous situations under the guise of loving all humans.

You have to be small minded to think women treat all men the same, your kind needs their ego stroked. Which is why women/girls are required to say “but not all men” when discussing things that disproportionately affect them. No one owes you love, but as humans we owe each other some sense of respect. So, you must respect women’s decisions to interact with you how they feel safest doing. The same way women have learned to respect that not all men are going to respect them. Only a dense pig would think that women do not understand the concept of viewing others as humans. In fact, time and time again it is women that are viewed as less than human by the same group you’re forcing them to care for.

As women (regardless of age), and especially as black women (moving away from the POC bs) you should prioritize your safety, you are not mother Theresa (even she was proven to be a fraud) and should focus on your own wellbeing. Don’t let an idiot calling you “dense” put you in situations many never come out of alive. As someone who has a male in her life that would do anything to see her happy and accomplished (and vice versa), I don’t go around with rose colored glasses trying to change anyone’s opinions because they chose to adopt an ideology that demonizes the living experiences of others. If being called “brother” is the only way you feel welcomed, then you need to rethink your entire life. Once you’re above 25, I implore that you try using at the very least 1/3 of your brain. I know using even half would probably cause a headache, so for now let’s aim to use 1/3.

Also you bring up the fact that men disproportionately hold more seats of power, so maybe direct your sadness to the people actively causing it. Which is the men in power not caring about the broke men (any man not in power). “It won’t pan out great for anyone who is not a male” because this is what males have done throughout history (I know you used man, but I used male for a specific reason and no I’m not a terf, but I don’t care about being called that). What a pathetic thing to say, especially if you’re not the man in power. This is an issue that egotistical idiots have (not calling you an idiot, but it is what it is), claiming men created this and that, when your ancestors are not the men that created it. Stop claiming power you personally don’t have. Stop claiming other men’s hard work as your own, especially when they put in the work to actually be productive members of society.

To the original twitter post, my dude you sound very stupid and seem like the kind that spends more time watching videos than actually reading on your countries history. The win was predictable, not because “men are becoming more right wing” but because this has been a common theme in America. These people are influenced by certain kind of media because deep down they already hold these beliefs, which is why they accept them. Men don’t genuinely want to see equality, hence why when they notice any group they view less than getting more rights they retaliate. The election result only tells us the reality of America as it pertains to race and sex (even more so when we look at the outcome of certain women’s voting history). So, the replies need to stop trying to make women take the blame for actions caused by other men. We should all aim to grow up.

To all the women/girls out there, avoid men that always want to be coddled and victimized. Most importantly find ways to protect yourselves, utilize the 2nd amendment given to you not by all men, but by the men that actually wrote it in. Protect yourselves by all means, and don’t be made to feel guilty for opting for safety over danger and stress.

Edit: have come to the conclusion after reading a substantial number of replies, Tumblr has a significant number of idiots who think they are smart. As a collective, we should all go touch grass.

I couldn't have said it better myself.